"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A room temperature IQ."

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued on."

"A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

"Bright as Alaska in December."

"One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not breed from this officer."

"He carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction."

"He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar."

"Since my last report he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age."

"Works well when under constant supervision, and when cornered like a rat in a trap."

"This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."